


Share my body and my mind with you (Billdip Week 2017, Day 2)

by immortalhubbys



Series: Billdip Week 2017 [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Fluff, For the most part, I'm terrible at tagging, M/M, POC Bill Cipher, Possession, at least until they find a way to get bill his own body, bill has depression and ocd, bill is a good actor, dipper has ptsd and anxiety, dipper is just so in love that he let bill possess him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 21:49:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12198069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalhubbys/pseuds/immortalhubbys
Summary: Dipper is determined to have Bill with him, even if that means he has to make some sacrifices.





	Share my body and my mind with you (Billdip Week 2017, Day 2)

Dipper leaned against a tree, prompting his hands against his legs, his breath stuck in his throat. He took a deep breath but with no avail. His hands and his legs were shaking, his face has gone livid. "Honey. My love. Sweetie. My beloved. My darling. The light of my life. My sun, my stars and my moon, are you ok?" A voice echoed inside of his head and Dipper smiled. "Yeah... just slow down on the pet names, alright?" Dipper breathed out, giving his best to regain his posture. 

He was fine. Everything was fine.

"Well, it doesn't seem like you're fine." Bill commented, his tone not revealing any of the demon's emotions. "I'm fine, Bill, really." Dipper insisted, despite that not being 100% true. But how was he supposed to know that that was gonna mess him up? Being in Bill's presence didn't bother him until now, which was surprising given how bad he had it. 

"I hate that horrible dimension, but, love, I'd much rather have you safe and sound, so tell me if something is wrong! Because things don't feel right from where I am!" Bill said, his tone the same as the last two times he spoke. "I'm good. I just need... a few minutes." Dipper breathed out, resting his back against the tree. 

"Please." He muttered, but he quickly realized that it wasn't him who said that, but rather it was Bill who said that. It was strange because there was no difference in his voice when Bill spoke. He could tell something was different, but he was sure that with a little effort Bill could imitate him perfectly. "Please, don't do this." Bill said through him and Dipper nodded. 

"I'm good, I promise." Dipper said and he stood up straight. He started walking, slowly making his way back to the shack. "And..." "And I won't talk while we're in the shack, yeah, yeah, got it!" Bill said, waving a hand dismissively. "I know that we can't get caught, Pinetree! I'm not stupid!" Bill said, his tone almost venomous. 

"You ok?" Dipper asked, swallowing hard. Bill never snapped at him like that, so it obviously got Dipper worrying about his boyfriend. "No. You're not ok and it's because of me and you won't let me help you!" Bill said, all the venom gone. His voice cracked towards the end and Dipper could feel tears filling his eyes. He wiped the tears and sighed. 

"Bill, sweetheart, I'm good, really. It's been worse and for things that can't be compared to this. I'll be fine in a few minutes. Nothing to worry about, I promise. And if it doesn't get better, I'll tell you." Dipper said as he reached the end of the forest. He leaned against a tree and took a lighter and a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He reached to take out a cigarette, but right before putting the cigarette in between his lips he dropped it.

"Bill!" Dipper said as he bend down to retrieve the cigarette. "What? Those do you only bad." Bill said matter-of-factly, crossing Dipper's arms over his chest. "I am aware of that. I've been told my entire life how bad cigarettes are. I know that they're going to kill me, Bill, but I don't care. I'll die one day anyway, I might aswell live with less anxiety than I would otherwise." Dipper protested and he could tell that Bill wasn't satisfied. 

He picked up the cigarette from the ground and lit it up, taking a long drag. His shoulders slumped down in an instant and he let his head fall back as he blew out the smoke. His moment of bliss didn't last long as he started coughing mere seconds later. "These taste horrible, how can you stand them?" Bill asked, grimacing. "I got used to it, honey." Dipper said, taking a deep breath to calm down his coughing fit. 

"I'm sorry for making you cough and ruining your moment." Bill apologised, eyes downcast. "It's ok." Dipper said and he leaned back against the tree as he took a second drag. Bill didn't cough this time and nor the following times. In a matter of seconds all of Dipper's anxiety washed away and Bill couldn't help smiling. He loved seeing Dipper content, although he couldn't actually see Dipper from his current position.

"But... uhm... have you thought through everything about this arrangement?" Bill asked, Dipper humming in response as he took the last drag from his cigarette. "No, not really." He said and he stomped on the remainings of the cigarette. "But we'll figure things out, right?" Dipper asked, Bill nodding right away. Dipper smiled, completely calm in that moment. He was right, what happened earlier was nothing. If a cigarette could fix it in its entirely it was a nothing. 

"How are you, Bill? Are you ok?" Dipper asked, wanting to make sure Bill was fine aswell, holding his breath as he waited for the answer. "Right now I'm good. Are you comfortable? I mean, we're both sharing your body, you may feel uncomfortable because of that because it's... you know... crowded." Bill said, regretting he said that out loud right away. His tone was shaky and as soon as he finished speaking he could feel a knot growing inside of his stomach. "I'm good, Bill, no need to worry about a thing." Dipper said, a smile on his face. 

"You promise to tell me if you feel bad in any way, be it related to us sharing a body or not?" Bill asked, his nerves working overtime. "I promise, but only if you promise to do the same." Dipper said nonchalantly and his heart started beating faster. "It's not like you're going to have much luck at hiding anything giving the current situation." Dipper added, just as calm. He took a deep breath and Bill let out a shaky sigh, his shoulders slumping down. 

"Deep breaths, honey, ok?" Dipper said, his voice barely above that of a whisper. Bill nodded, taking in deep breaths and letting out shaky sighs until he finally relaxed. Dipper didn't say, nor do anything. He let Bill calm down in his own rhythm and only after Bill was completely calm he said: "What happened?"

"Not sure. It's just I'm... scared? I have no idea how any of this works. I am not sure if I can use my powers and how they would affect you. I am not sure if this won't have some damaging permanent effects on you and... and..." Bill started panicking again at that point. "It's ok, love, it's ok." Dipper said, his tone blank. It was so weird to feel the anxiety and panic, but to don't actively experience it. And in that very moment Dipper realized he was horrible at comforting people.

"Don't worry, I'm horrible at that too." Bill said, his voice breathy and shaking. Bill chuckled, no trace of humour in his chuckle, it being rather dry. "But, I- I don't know what's happening. I'm not like this usually." Bill added, returning to his serious tone, and Dipper nodded along idly, deep into thought. "What if that's because of me, I mean it's a normal occurrence for me to panic out of really small things and such. What if we kind of need to get used to each other?" 

"That, that actually makes a lot of sense. We're slowly figuring things out... together." Bill said as he took a deep breath. Dipper didn't say anything, waiting for Bill to calm down before he spoke. Bill's anxiety slowly washed away as he took more breaths. He looked around. He was fine. He was with Dipper and everything was gonna be fine. 

"Yea, not like we have much of a choice, huh?" Dipper asked, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Bill laughed, and Dipper couldn't be more happy in that moment. "Yeah, we don't really have a choice, do we? But, really, thanks for this! It's... a lot and yet you still offered with no hesitations. You're the best boyfriend in the multiverse!" Bill said, Dipper's cheek burning up.

"Like hell I am!" "You're a literal saint! I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you." Bill pointed out, a grin on his face. His anxiety left him in its entirely just as sudden as it took over him, and he didn't complain. "Thanks, honey!" Dipper said, still content, at least for now. "Do you have any more compliments up your sleeve?" Dipper teased, Bill laughing at that. "No, at least not right now!"

"But I still can't believe you convinced me to do this." Bill added and the two of them looked up at the sky. "Me either, but I don't regret it at all, just so you know. I'm glad to have you here. I love you." "I love you too! And I'm glad to be here, with you, but we can't cuddle like this, which is truly a shame." Bill said with a pout. 

"We'll figure something out and we'll be cuddling in no time, I promise. This is only temporary." Dipper reassured Bill, Bill nodding in response. "Told you you're a saint." The demon pointed out. Dipper rolled his eyes. "Well, it's kind of ironic I'm dating you, a demon, huh?" He asked, making Bill laugh yet again. 

"Am I really that funny?" Dipper asked, an eyebrow raised. "Yes, or I don't know, maybe I'm just so smitten that I find that funny. Although I think it's the first one." Bill said, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "That's really sweet of you..." Dipper began, a yawn interrupting him in the middle of the sentence. "Was that me?" He asked afterwards and the nod that followed the question told him everything he needed to know.

"Guess it's getting late." Dipper said as he looked at his watch. Right in the following second, before Bill could say anything, Dipper went from slightly sleepy to exhausted, to the point where he could barely stand. "Bill, I'm... so tired, can you please take us inside?" Dipper breathed out, barely mustering the energy to say that much. 

"Of course, Pinetree. But what happened? I mean you were fine a second ago and now you can barely stand, you're that tired." Bill asked, taking control immediately, scared that Dipper might get hurt if he didn't. "I don't know. I just went from sleepy to exhausted in one second." Dipper said, a numb feeling settling in the pit of his stomach and slowly working its way through Dipper from there.

"Course you did." Bill said with a sigh. "Let's take you home." He added as he started walking, but he didn't even got to take one step before Dipper stopped him. "Tell me what happened." Dipper muttered, even that much seeming like a huge effort on his part. "Well you said earlier that we'll have to kind of get used to each other in reference to the fact that I had the anxiety you normally had and I think you're gonna have my depression now. Sorry."

"At least look at it this way, it could've been the OCD, at least this you can hide this from your family until it passes, which shouldn't be more than half an hour anyway." Bill said, his words coming out so fast they were slurred together in an almost unintelligible mess. Dipper only nodded, his mood getting worse with every second that passed. "Did I speak too fast?" "No, it's fine, I'm just tired and I just..." 

"Yeah, I understand what you mean. Let's get you in bed. Hopefully you'll fall asleep quickly and when you'll wake up you'll be like new." Bill said and he started walking, Dipper not stopping him now. "I don't understand how you can deal with this on a daily basis. It's horrible." Dipper whispered as they approached the shack. "The same could be said about your anxiety." 

Bill reached the shack, Dipper letting Bill to have full control. He trusted Bill to don't do anything stupid. Bill entered the shack and was quickly pulled into a hug by Mabel. "Where have you been? Are you hurt?" She pulled away and examined Bill up and down. "No, I'm good, Mabel. I'm not hurt, I promise." Bill said, giving his best to sound just like Dipper. And he succeeded as Mabel didn't question him for one second. 

"I just lost track of time. That's all." Bill continued, at which Mabel sighed. "Well, at least you're back. Grunkle Stan and grunkle Ford were about to start searching for you." Mabel said, moving a strand of hair from her face. "Is it that late?" Bill said and he checked Dipper's watch. "Wow, so it is really late." Bill said, his reaction geniune. He worried for a second that he let something slip, but Mabel didn't show any signs of suspicion yet again. 

"Are you sure nothing happened tho? You look like hell!" Mabel said, looking Bill right in the eye. "Nothing, it's nothing. I'm fine now." Bill said, averting his gaze from Mabel's. He faked a yawn. "I'm really tired, so I'll go to sleep now. Good night, Mabs!" Bill said and he practically ran up the stairs and straight into Dipper's room. He closed the door and flopped onto the bed.

"How did I do?" Bill muttered, his face buried into the sheets. "You did perfect. She didn't suspect a thing. And that says a lot, because Mabel is the first to see when there's something wrong with me." Dipper said, his words echoing in Bill's head. "How are you feeling?" "Better." Dipper muttered, Bill smiling. Bill turned on his back after that, looking at the ceiling.

"I love you." He muttered idly, the words rolling off his tongue so easily. Dipper gathered the energy to smile. Bill was definitely worth the effort. 

"I love you too."


End file.
